and listen

k so i had an amazing vacation.

granted it was BELOW ZERO when i started my day and crept back down there at the end…but wow.  this country is amazing…who needs an african safari…indian safari is where it is at.  we were up WAY before the sun, but it was so great…a little wind/sun burnt, but not bad all things considered, i’d say.  i sat in the back of an open gypsy jeep from 5:45am till 12:00pm.  we had breakfast out on the reserve and saw a slew of animals including but not limited to:

more birds that i could tell you about
dozens and dozens of spotted dear…the bambi kind with velvet antlers
peacocks…like 15 of them
gaur – which is like a buffalo/bison huge thing
sambar – which is like an elk/giant dear
jackal
elephant
and the tigress…awesome

a couple of thoughts from this day.  as we rode into this national park there was frost on all the grass and it was super cold and dark, but i got to watch the sun rise over india…and it was absolutely covered in FOG.  (note:  my Pastor uses this acronym to describe the Favor Of God and i couldn’t help but think of that all day.)  i teared up several times as i prayed over this beautiful country.  it was breathtaking…i have pics and video, but nothing will do it justice i’m afraid.

so, there is the fog.  even in the frost there was something incredible about it.  watching the plains, hills, mountains, trees and animals wander out of this beautiful white mist.  a new day dawns on this country that God loves.  teeth chattering as we talked about how much it felt like the u.s. but it’s still india.  that earthy smell that is unique to this place.  but here in the jungle.  protected by the government, it’s a natural, organic smell.  uncontaminated by the pollution, secluded from the chaos, nestled in the mountains and valleys of this great nation.  waiting.  waiting for the next gypsy to come by and catch a glimpse of the greatest Artist ever, brilliantly displaying some of His best work.  animals of all kinds.  deer?  I don’t know why, but I did not expect to see deer on this little jaunt in the jungle…but there they were in groups by the dozens.  amazing.

later in the day we were waiting for the tiger to come out of the jungle.  we were stopped and could hear her making her way through the underbrush.  we sat there listening to her for probably 15 min before driving on, because it sounded as if she moved away from the road.  we almost missed her because she ended up crossing right where we were and
disappeared just as quickly off toward where the guide said she had her 3 cubs.  we went around another way hoping to catch her coming towards us, but she never re-emerged.

i couldn’t help but think how sometimes we get it.  we wait and wait on the Holy Spirit but eventually get impatient and instead of waiting a little longer for God’s sovereign timing we move on…only to circle back and just catch a glimpse of what He is doing from behind.

i think that sometimes we are willing to turn off the gypsy and sit and listen, but after we listen and listen to the same rustling it’s almost like it eventually gets lost.  even in the silence.  did you really hear something?  is what you heard even what you thought it was to begin with?  is it possible that you are going nuts?  and so, eventually, we let ourselves be talked in to moving on.  the spirit isn’t really here, and even if He was, He wouldn’t choose to come out here right in front of you in broad daylight?.  no, little one, pat you on the head and send you on your way.

all that to almost miss Him completely.

so, i guess my lesson from the indian safari is just that….don’t miss Him.  don’t be so busy, so loud, so “about” the work that you miss the Reason for the work.  sometimes, all He wants is for us to turn off the jeep

and listen

untill they know

everywhere are piles of dirt and sand and rock.  stacks of brick defying the newspaper’s report that the economy is taking a downturn.  along our street alone 5 buildings are under construction.  3 more over by the hostel.  loans are not very common, so people only build as they have money.  and they are building here.

kites dancing in the sky marking the changing season.  sounds of children screaming ‘ohpahh‘ as another kite is cut from it’s lofty place.  they love to fight with their kites.

my legs crossed as i took my place on the floor in front of 70+ women and their curious children.  i shared the story of Jarius daughter and the woman with the issue of blood from Matthew 9:18-26

i sat, looking at their faces, and was overwhelmed with love for them.  these precious ladies trying to make some money of their own. what money they are able to make is theirs to do with as they see fit.  there are no ‘joint accounts’ in this culture.  so when a woman is able to make her own money she can choose where it goes.  food for the family, clothes for the children, new fabric for herself.

they are hungry for the Word of Jesus.  i asked them what they would do if they heard a man was walking down their street who could heal people.  they started to chatter.  what would people do?  what would they do?  one lady nodded understandingly throughout my talk.  i shared with them about boldy going to Jesus with their requests and having faith that He could do whatever they ask.  in these stories faith is what made them whole.

at the end i gave them the opportunity to ask the group to pray for specific things and to my surprise, many of them did.  usually they look quietly around the room and do not dare to speak, but this night was different.  several women brought their children either verbally or physically to us for prayer.  one little girl has headaches and stomach issues.  one little boy had a fever.  one mother just wanted us to pray blessing over her child.  others asked for healing for a father with paralysis.  a spouse.  a friend.  it was incredible.  so, my friend and i prayed.  we prayed specifically and generally over that sea of beauty.  deep brown eyes, sleek black hair and cocoa colored skin.   oh, how my heart bleeds for these women and their precious children.  That each of them would come to know Christ and Him alone, crucified and risen again.

for them to accept Jesus is not the difficulty.  they are quick to add any and everyone to their pantheon.  but to forsake all others for One…unheard of.  they cannot even begin to wrap their minds around this thought.  that is what makes the work here so tedious.  to break through the hundreds, no, thousands of years of pantheistic thinking.  to crush the lies of the enemy that run rampant in this place.

i sit perched in a jeep.  bumping and jolting our way back home.  we pass a gypsy camp.  a market.  a tent city.  rows and rows of trucks, sitting waiting for goods to carry to the next stop.  nested here outside of the city limits so as not to collect fines.  they are only allowed to cross in after dark.  curious…but it works for them.

and as we rumble along, i wonder…

who will come after me?

who shares the fierce love i feel for these people apart from their Savior?  who is bold?  who will step out in faith and trust Him to lead them? who will carry this torch i have until He sees fit to bring me back?

there is much to be done.  oh, there are people doing the work, make no mistake about that.  but how much more could we accomplish if we were willing to stand shoulder to shoulder?  to not be satisfied with a facebook update.  not willing to simply skim through a set of pictures. but to be co-laborers, truly.

until they not only hear

until they know

and more

today has not been my best day.  i don’t say that for your sympathy or anything…just being real.  we all have bad days, we just don’t usually talk about them that much.  after realizing that part of my problem was effort on the part of the enemy to make me feel defeated, i stopped trying so hard and prayed.  (please note i don’t always get this one right either, but today the Spirit in me prevailed.)

i was given some time alone in the house this evening and it is exactly what i needed.  some time to reflect, to listen, to absorb.  my time in india is drawing to a close all too quickly.

outside a local shop has been playing pooja long and loud all day.  i’m not sure what has prompted this side-street concert of worship to yet another lifeless god.  meanwhile, birds chirp happily.  dogs call out their territory to one another.  chipmunks chatter as they skitter from rooftop to tree.  but above it all this repetitive drumming, chanting, clinking.  it makes me think.

in just a little while on the other side of the world my local church led by my anointed Pastor will embark on another night of what we are calling the Code Orange Revival.  it’s amazing.  already people have packed out the house to hear from some of the best preachers and teachers of the gospel for a total of 12 nights.  it’s streaming on-line (although my little usb internet can’t quite keep up) and so far people have tuned in from 6 continents (those penguins in antarctica can’t seem to get it together) and all 50 states in the u.s.

i’m so excited about the training that is happening, the awakening of the body of Christ.  i am praying for each preacher, each night, each volunteer and each hearer of the word during these days.  but my greatest prayer is that it doesn’t stop on jan 22 when the lights go down and the parking lot is empty.

there is work to do.

re-enter that incessant pooja from down the street.

i am reminded today that, while i would love nothing more than to be able to participate in some way with this amazing revival, i’m right here in the heart of where the work is.  and i have four weeks.

four weeks here to make the most of every opportunity.  to invest in people, encourage, challenge…complete the work He has given me for this time.

because there are still people living in darkness, offering the best they have to…nothing…no one.  giving their worship…all day, to idols that don’t have ears to hear.

may we all have a renewed sense of urgency this year (not just in india, but wherever you are):

to humbly reach out to the lost

to boldly point them to the cross

to train up the next generation to do the same…and more

i will communicate

tonight i sat on the front porch at my friend’s house.  anointed worship dvd playing, looking out over a late afternoon in the neighborhood.  kids playing make-shift games, cows coming home – calling for their calves to follow, dogs at my feet begging for some attention…

in the relative quietness of this moment, my Savior washed over me.  i am so grateful.  i have been given a rare gift.

many are called to their own people.  i believe there is a renewed urgency among God’s people to reach out right where they are.  may they answer the call with confident boldness and never be ashamed.  some are called to leave the familiar and exchange it for a life altogether different.  i believe there is an awakening in the body for the millions who are fettered in darkness.  may they press on toward the goal of their calling with unwavering passion and never look back.

somehow, i know He is carving a unique place for me.  i am sure i am not the only one who falls within this “secret option number 3.”  i have come to believe that it does exist.

there seems to have always been a great chasm between the “foreign worker” and the “lay worker.”  why?  that singular question has been burning a hole in the corner of my mind and heart for at least three years.  we say the work done abroad is “good,” that “someone should do it.”  however, when someone does, what do we do at home?  we may hold a service, give a “love offering,” pat them on the head and send them out into the world.  but no true connection is made.  why?

out of sight out of mind?

how can the church remain one body across the continents and cultures?  what is the missing link?  we might even pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and go on a short-term trip.  then what?  briefing, culture shock, spiritual growth on steroids, debrief, re-entry…and then what?  something happens and just like that we are right back in high school the month or two after church camp with no real connection to very much of anything.

how does this happen?

what can we do to cultivate a healthy body?  how can we continue the work where we are and be an encouragement to those who have been called elsewhere?  the work of the Gospel was never meant to be done in isolation.  before you disagree with me…think about this.

the new testament is chocked full of letters to the church.  you don’t write letters to people you are with…you write to the ones who are elsewhere.  so, while paul was called to one place, God impressed upon him the needs, the failure and the successes of those parts of the body.  and so he wrote.  he was called to the work of the Gospel in jerusalem and writes to the romans, in the asia province he writes to the corinthians, in corinth he wrote to the galatians, from a roman prison he wrote to the colossians, the ephesians, the phillipians and also philemon to instruct and encourage, challenge and restore.

he wrote because he had heard either from them or about them.  if there had been email, paul would have used it.  if there were blogs…he would have had three.  if there were facebook and twitter, his posts would litter your feed.  because paul understood something about the body, about Christ and about people…

we have to communicate.

after all, isn’t that the most basic principle we get…

in the beginning was the Word

He spoke them into existence

He said to them, “Go…and preach…they will speak…”

the most common thread is communication not proximity.  the vast majority of the new testament is communication among the body.  nothing makes the knees of the enemy tremble like the Name of Jesus.  and when those who are called by His Name rise with one voice, encouraging and challenging with instruction and restoration the gates of hell are shaken.  and so, to the best of my ability, as i move into the next chapter of this journey,

i will communicate

so many things

as i sit and listen to the sing-song sound of the children thanking God for His many blessings in 2011, i can’t help but be challenged by the overflow of their spirit.  they have so many things for which to be thankful – what a perspective.  would that i could pour out at the end each year such a sacrifice of praise to my Savior.

we had a winter rain tonight.  it has been very cold, but last night it warmed up quite a bit.  all day today was cloudy and late in the day it started to sprinkle.  the power flickered off and on all evening – perhaps in attempt to keep the celebration under control as we usher in a new year.

as evening gives way to night it is damp.  the occasional fire cracker fizzles in the distance.  the lullaby of mummy’s voice continues to count her blessings to the group while the smaller children fall asleep.

the power is out again.  older boys scramble to get battery operated lights. kids continue to stand in the dark and thank God in detail for all He has done this year.  another fire cracker.

it’s humid.  without the whir of the fan the moisture of the day hangs in the night air.  it is black outside.  the crickets chirp in perfect unison.  the generator beeps in complaint at being called on yet again.  the kids begin to whisper.  my sweet girl smiles widely as she gives her thanks, a soft glow of candlelight on her face.  she is beautiful – honest in her gratitude.

how can i leave this place?  how can i go back?  when will You allow me to return?  how long must i be separated from these precious people?  the undulation of their speech.  the glint of sequins and shimmer of metallic threads.  the smell of dust and earth in the air.  these children that were so small and now have grown to young men and women…teaching a new generation the wonders of Your mighty love.

in a country where someone always seems to be celebrating something it is rare that everyone celebrates anything all at once.  new year is the exception.  now, in my house, the smell of smoke and firecrackers, damp dirt and matches drifts through the every crack and cranny.  from right outside my gate to kilometers away i can here the pop and crackle of thousands putting one year to rest and birthing a new one in it’s place.

nobody celebrates like india.

as i reflect not only on this night but on the many nights of the last year i can’t help but be in awe of how much He has done, not only here, in this place, but in me.  the vast expanse of one.  the depth of the other.  He is the author and perfecter….incredible.

so as the chain reaction of new year’s spreads from one side of the globe to the other, i am humbled, prayerful, thankful…

and so many things.

happy new year, the best is yet to come.

 

day in the life

wow it’s been a long time.  so much is happening – we have officially moved into the new office, preparation for the christmas team is almost complete, i’m preparing presents and things to be sent home…wewh!  its amazing how every day seems to be filled with something and yet i do not feel the usual hectic stress that can accompany this time of year, and for that i’m grateful.

i’ve had a hard time recently putting anything into words.  god is doing so much and at break-neck speed.  seems like it just needs to simmer some more before i write about it.

i thought a little peek into my average day might be interesting…so here it goes.

monday through friday starts with school with the kiddos.  i get up around 7:30 or so.  my 2 cup packet of milk (or doodh – yes that’s pronounced like dude) arrives, hand delivered by one of the boys.  i unlock my gate for the day, get the doodh off the wall, i take that to the kitchen and boil it with all the ingredients for the perfect cup of chai.  meanwhile i get big bow of water from the reservoir in my wash room and boil that as well for a hot bucket shower.  (keeping an eye on my chai so it doesn’t over flow when it comes to a boil.)  i fold up my blankets, make my bed, figure out what i’m going to wear and then take my hot water to the wash room.  i take a shower, hang my towel to try on a nail and get dressed – usually in a salwar suit (which is the traditional everyday wear for women here).  it’s a long top (kourta), big baggy pants (salwar), and a “scarf” (dupita).

i sit down with my cup of chai and either cereal or biscuits and my Bible.  i then get the room ready for the kids and school.  if i have time i’ll jump on-line with my usb internet and check email.  then school from 9-12 or so.  after school i go back to my wash room where i hand wash all my dishes from the morning in a red dish pan on the floor by my only drain.  yes, mom, i used filtered water – but that i have to get from my friend’s house so i have 6 bottles that i refill everyday to use for washing dishes and cooking.  i then head to my friends house for lunch and nap time for #3.

my afternoons i spend either helping with office work or prepping for the team, except mondays…mondays i love because we spend our late afternoon/early evening with the most amazing women.  they are the titus women who make all the awesome items found here.  i heart mondays.

be praying for us as we meet these next weeks.  we have been sharing the christmas story with them.  as many of them are not christians this is a huge outreach opportunity.  some of them are hearing this story for the first time.  we will be having a christmas party with them as well…it really is an awesome time.

then we pack up what they have brought to sell and come home for dinner.  after dinner i head back to my lil’ green house, check email, work on research or whatever projects i have going on, boil water for a cup of tea and head to bed so i’m ready to do it all again the next day.

like i said…every day is full.  i love it.  it’s a pace and routine that i enjoy very much.  we usually head to town a couple of times a week for grocery shopping or other things that must be done in town.  you pre-pay your phone and internet here so we have to go to town to do that.  we also go out to dinner about once a week…there is some amazing food here.  i love that too.

so i guess that about does it…just another

day in the life

 

34 things

today is thanksgiving…and my 34^th birthday.  i have already been treated like a queen today.  american breakfast, gifts from the whole family i work with, cake, prayer, more gifts, pizza lunch, more cake (yum), new clothes and a party on the roof tonight.  i am so grateful for so many things i thought i would make a quick list for you of things am thanking God for this year (in no particular order).

 

34. realizing it doesn’t take as much water as you think to take a shower
33. bible study
32. friends who know me
31. provision
30. a persistent Savior
29. pumpkin pie…even in india
28. prayers of little ones
27. american breakfast
26. tailored clothes
25. skype
24. email
23. phones
22. my lil green house
21. elevation, the house where God planted me
20. gas stove that works when there is no power
19. power
18. those who support me and encourage me in this life i’ve been called to
17. vision
16. calling
15. indian food
14. worship
13. pedicures
12. fulfillment of Divine promises
11. Light in the darkness
10. one7
9. one7 academy
8. handmade things
7. chai
6. hope for the future
5. the excitement of christmas
4. good movies
3. my roommate
2. my family
1. life with…

and so many more. thank you joining me on this journey.  may you and your family be blessed more than you can ask or imagine.  happy thanksgiving.  what are your

34 things?

because of you

so it’s october, for those of you who needed a reminder-it’s pastor appreciation month, and i just wanted to share with you a little insight as to why exactly it is that i find myself in india.

i have amazing parents…

they love God passionately and have poured out their whole lives for His bride.  they have pastored churches that you will never know about, in places you have never heard of for the glory of His Son Jesus Christ.  they were an excellent example to me of faithful obedience, even when the next step did not make logical sense.  now, they serve through an organization you may have heard of once or twice…and are having the time of their lives, running the race better than ever, with BGEA.

i grew up with a firm foundation, under a great pastor-my dad.  i also spent a significant amount of time willfully out of line with my Father’s heart.  i suffered consequences from my actions, but rather than leave me in my mess, through him (and my mother) God brought amazing beauty from the ashes of my past.

i have a place in an incredible house…

after years of restoration and healing God brought me to this house.  never in my life have i experienced anything like life with this body of believers.  there is something special here.  when i first arrived at providence high school…for church, we had just launched our second campus at another high school.  i had no idea what was just around the corner as we now have 6 locations and more extension sites than i know how to count.  i learned how to actually be a part of the body of Christ here.  what it means to get up at 5 am to set up a temporary church in a high school…just so people far from God can be filled with life in Christ.  what it means to be held accountable…for real.  what it means to constantly be under the metamorphosis of growth in my Savior.  i am planted firmly in this house and am forever grateful for the blessings that have saturated my life because i am a part of elevation.

i serve under the leadership of an unprecedented pastor…

my pastor is an incredible man of God.  he has a stellar track record of obedience that i can only strive to repeat.  and i have learned nothing if not obedience from this man.  it is true that today we are a part of a huge movement of God.  but it hasn’t always been like that.  each step of the way…if there were 7 couples sitting around a table in a blue room…or a hundred in a high school atrium…or over 10,000 in an enormous stadium for Easter, he has sought the Lord and then been obedient.  may i be so faithful, no matter the sphere of my influence.  i know sometimes he wonders if what he receives from God translates and is applicable in everyday life of the average person that walks through the doors on a weekend.

i am living proof that it does…and it is.

i was selfish and arrogant when i began sitting under his teaching.  i could always think of someone else that needed to hear it more than me.  i thought it was odd to have a “notes” section in the worship guide.  i couldn’t believe that led zeppelin and def leppard made it to the play list for a service (not that i minded, i actually loved it…just didn’t know you could do that in church).

i’d love to wrap up here and tell you that i now i’m perfectly selfless and humble at all times and yadda yadda yadda…but truth is i’m still just as human as i was when i arrived.  but significant things have changed.  after all that foundation from my parents, God used him to sand off my rough edges, remove the build-up and uncover the way i was taught to go.  he is the instrument my Savior is using to refine me.  to put me in a place where i never never want go back to those ashes again.

i can’t, because you see, i have a calling…

a purpose

a place in the body that only i can fill.

it is not easy.  i don’t always like what he has to say…but i can’t ever think of anyone who needs to hear it more than me, i sit in the front row (when i’m on that side of the planet), i worship like never before and i take notes like its my job.  i find myself with that internal struggle of what i really don’t want to do…but more often than not, i tell my flesh to shut-up because it’s not about me and i have work to do.

don’t get me wrong…these two pastors are simply men who were obedient…nothing more, but certainly nothing less.  the glory is due the Father.  and i give Him praise today that He provided these faithful, obedient examples for me to follow at just the right time.  He knew when the soil of my heart would be tilled and ready to receive what He has for me.

so thank you…you have no idea the profound effect you have had on my life.

daddy, your encouragement that i was saved at birth for a significant purpose resonates in the corners of my heart every day.  i want to marry someone who has character as strong as you.

pastor steven, your fire and passion for people who are far from God have seared my soul.  i am in india because you have given me tools i needed to actually believe the code, our faith confessions, and that He doesn’t call the equipped, but equips the called.

you both have no idea how often i quote you.  thank you for your quiet, faithful, obedience.  i am in india…

because of you

 

the words of my Father

my friend presented a challenge to the team coming to work here this christmas and it reminded me of something i thought i’d share.

when i came to india the first time i was shocked to discover that the kids here learn a verse a day and share what they learned the week before in church every sunday.  i know it shouldn’t have shaken me so – we all “know” to hide God’s word in our heart, but what do we really do with that knowledge?  i hadn’t thought about memorizing verses since i was a kid or if i had to in college.

wow.

so, i determined that when i got home i would start doing the same thing.  and what do you think?  i got home.  i got sick.  i tried to recover from being sick.  i struggled to process all i had seen and heard and get up and go to work like a “normal” person.  i volunteered at church.  i led a small group….most of these very good things, but somehow a lot that had challenged my heart and uncovered areas that needed some serious growth were once again overgrown with the kudzu of life.

not until my pastor issued a challenge to leaders to memorize Romans 8, did the resolution i made in india even occur to me.

i rose to the momentary challenge, memorized the chapter and then…nothing.  it’s like i was so proud of myself, that i accomplished and “completed” the challenge that i was finished.  i could stop now.

seriously?

why does this seem to be so difficult to remember to do, let alone follow through with?

fast forward to my current journey in india…as i sat and observed school the first day, all that God had planted in my heart so long ago came busting through the soil of my soul.  how could i require my students to learn verses and callously sit by and not be doing so myself?

somehow i thought this was difficult, and insurmountable thing to attempt alongside all the other out-of-the-ordinary things i’m doing right now.

boy was i surprised.

i memorize song lyrics all the time.  through school and college i memorized dozens of shows and musical numbers.  i memorized information for tests.  i learned procedures for who knows how many jobs…why have i put scripture memory in such an unattainable place?

honestly, i still don’t quite have the answer to that one.

so here i am, 8 weeks into my journey and (along with my first and third grader, mind you) i have learned a verse for every letter of the alphabet (thanks to my mom and the take-home pack from the bg library) and Hebrews 12:1-15…i don’t say that to impress you.  believe me it is not that impressive.

i am 33 years old and have been walking with my Savior for almost 3 decades (feelin’ old yet?)

i don’t even know two verses for each year i’ve known Him.  and i wonder why sometimes my faith seems to fail me (which of course is more me failing my faith than the other way around).

or why it’s so easy for me to get caught up in my “life” instead of the One who gives me life.

or why i continually struggle with the same things over and over…

and today i realize that it has more to do with what i don’t know to the core of my being because i do not saturate my mind with His words over others.  its not enough to just read what He says.

i have to know it.

deep down.  where my insecurities and fears tend to hide.  so that when they try to go and take over the depths of my soul…all that hides in the recesses of my spirit, my mind, my heart are…

the words of my Father.

in my gentleness

when i was in middle school (i’ll pause while you remove that wretched flashback from your mind) i often struggled with insecurity and feeling like everyone was talking about me, or laughing at me…or some other horrible thing behind my back.  thank God for parents like mine, who taught me about life and the real world.

i will never forget the night this all came to a head for my ever-so diplomatic father.  our dinner routine consisted of a discussion of everyone’s day.  mind you i am still harassed for not letting anyone – particularly my little brother – get a word in edgewise, which i’m sure comes as a complete shock to you, but anyway…we are having such a discussion one night when my feelings of insecurity came spilling out like gravy over my mashed potatoes after which my father looks at me and says:

honey, do you want to know the truth?  no one, absolutely no one is thinking about you that much.

now he goes on, from this tender moment, to explain how wonderful i truly am, but there it was from the mouth of my father.  i wanted to protest…but was so shocked i couldn’t find the words.  only that thought i could not ignore hung in the space between us. one that was completely alien to me…but one that, eventually, i came to be grateful for and accept as the truth.

and it is true…no one thinks about you as much as you do or as much as you think they do.  except in india.

when i came here the first time, a couple of the last scriptures i read before leaving the country were from I Thessalonians 4:11 to lead a quiet life and from Philippians 4:5 let your gentleness be known to all.  such challenging words then and now…

in india i stand out just a little bit. my height, hair, skin, eyes are polar opposite to those around me.  and for the record, indians are curious.  i love that about them.  at the same time it can be rather awkward to be very obviously watched and starred at…everywhere.

i am becoming used to it and no longer feel that western compulsion to respond to it all…making the transition to understanding it isn’t as impolite as it feels to just keep focused on what i’m doing or where i’m going and ignore as much of it as possible.  today, however,  i realized the current application of these wise words from paul.  for this season, my purpose is to live a quiet life and let my gentleness be known to all the eyes upon me.

i don’t need my words so much.

in a way my life is diametrically opposed to that of my former middle school years…i thought everyone was looking at me when not many were, but now many are looking at me daily…where i’m going, what i’m doing, how i act, the tone of voice i use…even if they never understand a word coming out of my mouth.

so with renewed passion my prayer today is…Father, as my life is a bit of an open book, and while i have the attention of so many who are far from You…let my gentleness be known and help me lead a quiet life so that those that have not heard and do not know…will see You

in my gentleness