A lot has happened in the last couple of weeks and I have failed to get any of my thoughts into writing. So, you’re gonna want to grab a cup of coffee or something and hang on…I have several things on my mind.
This has been an interesting few weeks for many reasons. God is stretching me in just about every aspect of my life…and it’s been quite overwhelming actually. Thus my slacker attitude toward writing about it. I mean who really wants to spill the mess of Jesus rocking your world all over a blog that might be read by tens of people?
it seems to me that this has become part of my process and by neglecting it I’m not fully taking in what it is that He has for me in this chapter of my life. So, put on your rubber gloves…here comes the mess.
First of all, this is a result of my previous post. I’ve been telling Jesus that I wanted to dive deep. That I wanted to allow Him to use this time where I have basically no attachments to grow and strengthen my relationship with Him. To make the most of these days and create a firm foundation with Him on which to live the life He’s called me to lead.
I’ve decided that this is sort of like praying for patients. The only way to dive deep in the waters of My Savior is to experience pressure from all sides. Pressure that seems unbearable until your body adjusts and your ready to take it even further.
You can not fight this process.
Wow…that’s the hard part.
And boy have I experienced the pressure. And my tendency is always to fight. So now that I’ve sort of settled into this part of the process I’m seeing things with more clarity. I see areas of weakness that I need to humbly carry before Him and trust Him to work in me what I cannot work in myself. I see areas of strength that I have ignored because I’ve preoccupied myself with things that…at the end of the day…don’t matter. I have a very skewed view of myself. It’s very hard for me to see myself the way Jesus does. The vessel that He made me with a specific design to do only what He’s called me to do and equipped to do it with excellence.
And then there is my Pastor…who every week for the last 2 months seems to have something to say that is just for me. Preaching in my face about things only Jesus can know about. I’m so thankful for him and his unwavering desire to not only hear the heart of our Savior, but to speak His words boldly and with conviction every week. It’s exhausting for me and I can’t imagine what it like for him to do what he does 4 and 5 times a Sunday. I admire and respect him like no other.
So all this leads me to our current series Purple People Leader. You can see the first week’s sermon “You’re Not Normal” there…and you should. It rocked me to my core. I have totally spent my whole life just trying to fit in and fly under the radar and I got totally called out for it.
I could go on for days about this sermon that I have listened to multiple times and took pages and pages of notes on. But…three days later…here is what I’m still processing.
My influence is so very much wider than I ever imagined.
I have been uniquely gifted and created to do something for Jesus that only I can do. My power in Christ is found in my uniqueness.
I am a rock…
It’s like this…we’ve all heard of the ripple effect. You drop the rock in the water and the ripples go so much farther out than the size of the rock…blah, blah, blah. So here’s what Jesus is trying to do with me…with all of us who call ourselves His people. He doesn’t want a “normal” rock…a normal rock can only have a normal impact. You hear about “normal” people all the time who affect their world. With some new scientific breakthrough, helping those around them…maybe even something as far reaching as their country through politics or education or something along those lines. BUT THAT’S NORMAL. Anyone can affect those around them.
Jesus wants to impact the culture, the ideology, this world He created for His glory. Only He can do that…and He chooses to only do that through the uniqueness of His children.
Here’s what I mean…I’m a rock, sure, but I’m different. I’m one of those rocks you look for along the side of a river or pond with an unusual shape, a little longer and flatter than most. Because you see…this is the kind of rock that is perfect for skipping. And Jesus wants to send me skipping across the surface of the deep leaving behind me not one set of ripples…but many, each one crashing into the next so much that the whole surface is eventually affected.
Understand that this makes me want to throw up.
But its amazing. To really beginning to understand what He wants to do with me. How He wants to use me. That not only does He not expect me to look like the other rocks…He doesn’t WANT me to look like the other rocks. Because if I look like them, I’m only a one-ripple rock…and He wants so much more for me and those He has surrounded me with.
So, there it is…I’m a rock…but not just any rock…
I’m the kind you can skip