So, It’s been a few days and a lot has happened. Mainly, I’ve been getting my tail kicked by Jesus on a couple of key points of my life.
Number one…(which is the only one I’ll cover today) when I stress, about very much of anything, but particularly “big” things my go-to reaction is to allow the addictive part of my personality to take over. It could be anything from food to television to basically anything that will allow me to shelve whatever it is that is causing the stress.
Sometimes it’s stress over decisions I’ve made that weren’t the best and sometimes it’s over something God is trying to teach me. But either way, I’ve got to find a way to recognize this early and often and do something different.
I’ve discovered that when this happens I also shy away from my time with God…it becomes very surface and I pull away. I do this in all my relationships actually. It’s like I know that I’m not dealing with something and so the walls go up and I hide behind my fortress to continue to avoid…whatever it is.
Jesus always finds a way to bring me back around…and I love that about Him.
Lately, He’s been using my best friend to call me out. She does this a lot. She sees through my fortress and asks the tough questions. She pushes me to pin-point what I’m stress about or running from and reminds me that I can’t hide forever. She reminds me that my Savior knows my heart whether I share it with Him or not. That He has a plan and if I didn’t get somewhere overnight, I won’t fix it in an afternoon.
It’s good for me.
And then there is our current series Purple People Leader at Elevation. Pastor Steven has really challenged me through this series. This week we talked about structuring your life around where God is taking you instead of where you are at. This was a clarifying message for me. I feel like that is what I have done the last few years…trying to get by on living where I’m at and then wondering why it was taking God so long to get me where I’m going.
And the short answer is….I wasn’t living like I was ready.
I’ve been spinning my wheels on the outside and dying on the inside because I felt like there was something more I just didn’t know how to get there. So, this week, I have some goals. Seemingly small, but I can’t get this flywheel going all at once. I’ll do my best to accomplish each one, realizing that I’m building into my future….which may appear silly on the outside, but that’s okay,
because I want to be dressed for where I’m going.