it’s complicated…or is it

I know this is a phrase that we’ve all heard….and said.  It’s always better to be the one saying than the one hearing it because it has so many translations…

“it’s complicated” can mean any of the following:

I don’t know how to tell you that I just don’t like you

I’d love to explain, but I’d have to begin in the beginning…and I just don’t have time for that

I’d rather poke my eyes out with a pencil than explain

I don’t want to make you mad

I don’t want to hurt your feelings

…and a myriad of other more wordy, but honest responses.

Which leads me to a short expose on my life…

I seem to complicate EVERYTHING.  Ask any teacher or friend of mine over the last 20 years or so.  When it came to a school project, it never failed.  I could take the most simple of assignments and complicate the heck out of it.  (This usually stemmed from my desire to please.)

In relationships…friends/boyfriends…whatever, I was constantly trying to “read between the lines” or discover what they were “really trying to say.”  When most of the time…they SAID what they wanted to say, I needed to take it at face value and move on.  (This usually stems from my desire to be accepted.)

You name it and it’s happened…and here comes example #3. I have this blog…I guess you know that. I hit a point where I wasn’t posting every day around Christmas and I just totally shut down, I felt if I didn’t post every day like I did in the beginning that I wasn’t being true to something…don’t ask me what. (I think this stemmed from the aforementioned desires…)

So, I didn’t  post at all…sometimes for months…I guess you know that too.  I was busy, but I’ve noticed as I have flipped back through the past 6 or 8 months that I started a lot of posts with some sort of apology or explaination of why I hadn’t posted recently.

Seriously?

What did I think you were…my mother…my teacher…the blog police?  I don’t know.  I started this as a way for me to talk out my thoughts…on life, work, church…conversations I was having with Jesus about any and everything.

So, I’m working on getting back to that.  It’s not complicated…it doesn’t have to be…it’s a conversation.

Happy Labor Day weekend, All…see you next week

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