I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way, but sometimes when I feel like my dream has a small spark there is always something or someone to blow it out.
I’ve sort of become used to it in the last 15 years or so, but today I’m more confused than anything else.
I feel like I know that God has placed this dream in my heart (I hesitate to call it a vision, because from what I understand…people should be more confident than I to actually latch onto that word). It seems to surface every time I become frustrated with the mess in my sink like I talked about yesterday.
Whenever I try to think about my passion and what it is, this particular dream is not the first thing that comes to mind, but it does eventually come up. And so today I wonder…
Why does it seem to be snuffed out as quickly as it sparks?
Why am I so timid about it?
Why am I so willing to walk away from it and let it be blown out?
I don’t know the answer to that. I also don’t think it’s some super spiritual…thing. Like it’s just directly related to how much of an impact it will make if it ever gets going…I just don’t know. Or that God is slamming a door that I should walk away from because it’s not from Him. I think the possibilities could go in either direction. And there doesn’t seem to be a nudging in my conscience that prompts me to either place.
I don’t want to dismiss it…but I also don’t want to believe that it’s something it’s not. Am I speaking anyone’s language today? Or am I the only one that seems to have dreams like this?
I don’t mean for this to be a depressive post…it’s more pensive…just a curiosity inside me that I can’t seem to suffice. I’m just wondering…
who’s blowing out the candle…