just the pieces

In the fall my Pastor did a sermon that was supposed to be geared towards our students at Elevation.  I have to say it has been one that has continually come up for me over the last months and it surfaced again today.

The text is Exodus 4:1 & 2 where Moses is telling God all the reasons why He shouldn’t pick him and God simply asks Moses…what’s in your hand.  The idea here is simple…take what you have and allow God to use it.  But this has been a struggle for me.

I have always felt that I have a random skill set.  That the journey of my life has had so many twisted and turning moments that what I have is fragmented at best.  So in a devotion today, this very scripture was there in black and white and God seems to be asking me again…

what’s in your hand

I gotta say, I’m not sure how to answer him.  I’ve been a teacher for 8 years, I’ve led and participated in a myriad of small groups, I lead a volunteer team, I have an unusual amount of knowledge on producing/directing than most people who don’t do it for a living (thanks various worship departments & theater), I’ve done more than my share of hair and make up (thanks Mary Kay & theater), I paint/draw/create graphics and other artsy things….and apparently I write.

I don’t list this for any reason other than to prove my point that I always feel rather overwhelmed when God asks me this question.  I think part of it is that I’m a woman and when I get asked to do things, especially in the workplace…I roll with it and figure out how to do it as I go, which results in a weird variety of experience.  I feel like I have to determine what I’m best at and give that to Him…enter the twist for today.

I feel like someone took pieces from several puzzles and mistakenly put them in the box of my life.  Every now and then I allow the lid to come of and the pieces to spill out…but I am overwhelmed and I want to shove it all back in the box.  God has spent almost two years putting some of the pieces together, seemingly in the dark.  But today there is a bit of light He cast on a piece that He spoke to me through one of my high school kids in India.

Miss Mullen, you’re just naturally competent.

It was a bit odd to me at the time…slightly embarrassing, actually.  I dismissed it as an arrogant thing for me to think of myself and moved on.  Today, however, it seems that this may be what God is asking of me…

Laura, I want your competence…

In whatever area, to whatever degree…that’s what He wants…that’s what I have.  So, however that manifests itself in the future, I turn over my competence.  As He continues to place each piece in place, in His ever intentional order, may I trust His hand…because in mine

they are…

just the pieces

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